nasty . tw:sh

remembering the first. unusual sex thing i’ve done when i was rly young. which was bruising my legs on purpose, and it quickly turned into cutting and suffocating myself and i would literally get off on that alone but obviously i didn’t know i was getting off i think i just knew i felt the same way i did when my abuser was hurting me which is really sad actually . fukd up and i still do the cutting thing sadly but that’s no one’s business but mine 

also remember getting undressed by myself in the backyard 💀 wtf was wrong with me and my brothers friend was there one day. anyways that’s a whole other thing

i’m sure there’s more stuff . i think i remember thinking it was hot when someone in a show was drowning when i was rlly young wtf did my abusers do to me dawg😭😭😭😭